Elimination Communication, Infant Potty Training, Natural Infant Hygiene, Potty Whispering...whatever you choose to call it, it all refers to the modern adaption of an ancient method of childcare. Traditionally this method was seen and practiced by the whole community, learned naturally over a lifetime. This aspect has largely been lost, yet you can rediscover it with us at LTM. Think of these as the wisdom of your grandmother, the support of your aunt, the encouragement of your best friend. Celebrate undertaking a journey where caregivers and babies learn and discover together.

Tradizionalmente questo metodo è stato visto e praticato da sempre e per secoli, i bimbi hanno sempre imparato naturalmente nel corso della loro vita senza dover vivere con un panno sporco contro la loro pelle. Sfortunatamente l'aspetto di communicazione tra mamma e bimbo è stato in gran parte perduto ma è possibile ritrovarlo e incoraggiarlo. Pensate a questi come la saggezza di tua nonna, il supporto di tua zia, l'incoraggiamento della tua migliore amica. Festeggia  e vieni al nostro corso di Loving the Mother ad intraprendere un viaggio in cui caregivers e neonati impararano a communicare e scoprire insieme.

or call Giuditta for a consultation

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”  Alison Boulter

Each individual is unique in many ways. However, sometimes this feeling of specialness can get in the way of an honest, fulfilled, and shared life. Believing in their uniqueness can prevent people from seeing the reality of their situation and can become a form of denial. Take, for example, the cigarette smoker who is able to continue his habit even though he knows the statistics of smoke-related lung cancer. Some smokers console themselves with the idea that: It will never happen to me! I’m different. Others declare: I don’t want to think about it right on. I just want to enjoy my smoke. This is a dangerous way of thinking. Yet, it is, unfortunately, all too common. This attitude is known as terminal uniqueness.

The term “terminal uniqueness” has been used often in the world of addiction. Substance abusers feel they can indulge in most dangerous behaviors and nothing will ever happen to them. Codependents who isolate from the world feel that the abuse they have endured or are experiencing is unique. They fear that most people will not understand them or, worse, ridicule them. Ashamed, they would rather isolate than share their histories for fear of rejection and/or judgment.  Frequently, in recovery,  the addict and the codependent come to realize that they are children living in a grownup body, who for whatever reason, failed to mature.

TERMINAL UNIQUENESS PRESENT DURING PREGNANCY AND BIRTH.One example of terminal uniqueness in pregnancy is a woman who believes that she is so special that she doesn’t need, or should not have to do the work of child birthing. She is too comfortable in her life, and thinks that the concept of “labor” is for the masses, not for the exclusive or the elite.  These women have even been given a nick name: too posh to push.

Once, a woman came to me to discuss my postpartum services.  When I asked her about the upcoming birth she nervously chuckled and told me that she had chosen an elective cesarean birth. She said, “I just don’t have time for an unpredictable labor, and all that mess I hear comes with it. Besides, I am doing all the work in carrying this child already. Look what it has done to my body! I need and want to schedule when to get this baby out,” and, she continued with a wink, “I definitely don’t want to stretch down there.”

 We spent some time talking about what was really behind her decision and came to realize that her “posh” attitude was hiding is fear. She feared not being good enough to labor and deliver a child. She was terrified of pain. No one had told her about the consequences nor the pain related to cesarean births. She was afraid that she would be judged harshly by her friends and family, who all seemed to have chosen the cesarean route and even suggested the perfect OBGYN who would absolutely never question her choice. She was scared of losing a perfect façade or body image in front of her partner. Finally she talked about the horror stories of birth shared in the media. A proper woman would not scream, insult the doctor, and even poop in public! She could not see herself going through a vaginal birth. To her, it sounded too animal, raw, scary and out of control. She believed that she was so unique that even Mother Nature’s design did not apply to her.

Terminal uniqueness knows no socio-economic bounds.  Women, who are survivors of abuse, molestation, or rape, may fall into the terminal uniqueness category as well. They may think: “Nobody can help me. I’m too messed up. You could never understand what I’ve been through.” “I am so ashamed of my past I do not want to talk abouy iy and mix pregnancy and childbirth, with any horrible memories”

We can’t stress enough the need for women who are survivors to seek the help of professionals, especially during pregnancy, and share their past experiences with their care provider. A pregnant woman needs to choose a provider whom she can trust, someone upon whom she can rely, someone who will understand her during the process. Doulas can be instrumental in such cases. They usually spend more time with the mother-to-be during labor than the average care provider. Thus, they can accompany her on her journey, especially at the hospital, by being the constant, trustworthy companion at her side. Failing recognizing the correlation between abusive experiences and the upcoming childbirth can lead to complications and unnecessary medical interventions. Women who believe that nobody in the world has ever had problems as bad as theirs, sins as unforgivable, or circumstances as unusually grotesque,  may be afraid of their own past, of what people would think if they only knew. They obsess about how others would react, judge, or worse pity them. A client told me, while we were walking around during her early labor, “I’ve survived the worst all alone, so I’d pledged do this the same way.”During active labor and transition she deeply isolated and checked out. This had been her way of surviving the abuse. It took nearly two hours for her to come back after the delivery. At first, she was unable to hold her child to her chest as she was literally no longer in her body. Her hands had no strength. Her gaze was far away. Luckily, I had talked to the lovely nurse who was helping us. She assisted by holding the child onto the mother’s chest as I slowly accompanied my client back to reality, encouraging her to step into the present and into motherhood.

Experts say it’s increasingly clear that traumatic feelings often resurface when a woman is pregnant. Jody, a doctoral candidate in the Faculty of Health Sciences, from safepasssage.info (a site created by abuse counselors who have specific skills and knowledge related to supporting women survivors of abuse through the childbearing year) writes, “…a woman may be expressing extreme pain early in labor not due to her ‘inability to cope’ but because she is being triggered by the pain of remembering an earlier incident of violence or abuse…For some women, it can be the case that they are having a ‘body memory’ of the abuse. They may say or do things that seem displaced. For instance she may say something like, ‘make him stop’, when no one is touching her. She may express what seems to be an extreme need for control in the birthing room, wanting to know who is coming and going, and who is doing what, and when they are going to do it. While all women are entitled to fully informed choices (not just informed consent), it is particularly essential for a woman survivor to know why something is being suggested and to have her choice, if possible, of who provides the intervention.”

Sharing your history and getting the help you need can make a huge difference to the outcome of your birth. Terminal uniqueness stems from fear. Fear creates defensiveness, resentment, and separation. Fear often masks itself in independence, freedom, and autonomy. We end up feeling alone and unsupported without knowing why. What we perceive as strength becomes a barrier to true freedom.

But those suffering from terminal uniqueness are not limited to the too posh, or to the survivors. Other symptoms of this condition can be the need for too much control or its opposite: no personal boundaries.

THE DANGERS OF TERMINAL UNIQUENESSWe called it terminal uniqueness because this way of thinking can be dangerous in a number of ways:

• Terminal uniqueness allows people to ignore the likely consequences of their actions.
• Terminal uniqueness provides a false sense of security.
• Terminal uniqueness divides the world into me and them.
• Terminal uniqueness leads to the individual’s thinking that she is either worse off than everyone else or that she is better than everyone else.
• Terminal uniqueness prevents her from seeking help for her problems.
• Terminal uniqueness can be a huge barrier to communication.
• Terminal uniqueness leads to feelings of loneliness and desperation.
• Terminal uniqueness can lead to making decisions against your own true desires

And in pregnancy:

Terminal uniqueness can lead to unnecessary medical interventions, such as induction, augmentation, opiate administration, or cesarean sections.

If an individual views herself as a special case, she will not be able to reach out and embrace her authentic self. She is limited by her sense of uniqueness.

While it is true that living successful and fulfilling lives often means moving out of the mainstream, it is equally true that distancing ourselves from our fellow humans –physically, mentally, or emotionally–can have a negative effect on the quality of our lives.

Each of us is a special and unique individual. We are also members of the marvelous community of human beings, alike in many ways. Too often, we remove ourselves from this energizing unity of souls because we are afraid: afraid we will be hurt; afraid we won’t measure up; afraid we’ll fail; afraid we’ll be viewed as weak or damaged goods.

While people are unique, they also have a lot in common. Our similarities are what bring us together, allowing us to benefit from each other. We don’t have to discover everything for ourselves. We don’t have to make every mistake personally in order to learn from them.  Accepting such similarities doesn’t mean giving up our individuality. It means benefiting from our similarities.

I once suffered from terminal uniqueness. I struggled with the need to be unique for a long, long time. Growing up during the feminist revolution in a culture where women were not highly regarded, I had to fight for my right to be different. I had to be as strong and as  independent as a man to be noticed, to feel I existed.  Because I felt so insecure about my strengths I felt I had to be better than others. I became great at handling crises. To demonstrate this greatness, however, I had to create a great deal of crises in my life!

To prove myself, to show the world how different and special I was, to convince others of how strong and independent I was, I filled my life with dramatic events (some real and some invented) that were hugely self-destructive. I was determined to be unique. I craved and immersed myself in drama so I could emerge victorious—the heroine of the situation.

I devised a code to keep control over my life and, of course, the lives of others. This code, born in my childhood and designed for my own personal safety, was so strict that if you did not behave accordingly you were not worthy of my friendship, attention, love, or companionship. At times, I even had a script you needed to follow. Of course the script existed in my head. Others around me were simply supposed to know it. Nevertheless, if you strayed from it I would feel abandoned, and misunderstood. I would fail to listen to what actually you were telling me. My focus was on catching you breaking my code. I believed in this code. It was all about integrity, loyalty, sincerity, and authenticity. I was righteously indignant with myself and all others who broke the code. I enforced this code until my group of friends became so small I had alienated many people. Most of all, I had alienated myself.  The rules were so strict that I had omitted compassion.  I punished myself when I did not live by my code and punished everyone else as well.   The specific rules by which I wanted to live further separated me from everyone else. I persisted with this code until I woke up one morning, looked into the mirror and realized that the woman staring back at me—was a  lonely terminally unique woman.

Don’t get me wrong! I know I am unique in many ways, and for that I am grateful. But, by recognizing the similarities I share with others, I’m more able to understand them, help them, and learn from them. When we view ourselves as completely unique, we do one of two things:

• We compare ourselves with others. By separating myself from others with an unrealistic view of uniqueness, I’m placing myself above or below them… “I’m better than…” or “I’m worse than…”

• Or, we find ourselves attached to the past, what we wish it was, or the future what we think/wish it should be and we lose the moment, the here and now – what actually is.

By learning to accept ourselves completely, we no longer need to compare ourselves to others.  Real life happens in the moment. One of the most valuable lessons in learning how to be happy is becoming content with yourself at any given moment.

Terminal uniqueness is a fatal condition for souls. It destroys the possibility of having the life we really want. It separates us from the energy, from a support system, and from the community of people around us. It is born of fear rather than passion.  The results can be terminal.

I am in no way encouraging you to simply become one of the masses, giving up the qualities that make you unique. I am inviting you to allow those qualities to connect you to other human beings rather than distancing yourself from them.

Both our similarities and our differences give us strength. The trick to having success, freedom, and joy in our lives is to embrace both, in ourselves as well as in others.

The idea that a problem we face is so unique that no one else has endured anything similar is ridiculous. If we focus only on how we are different from others, we segregate ourselves, thus losing our ability to learn from others. The irony is that, in our society, if you don’t compare yourself to any other person and if you live in the moment you will be unique. Yet, you will have mastered the art of being one with everyone else, blending in in this wonderful world of ours in the sea of humanity, as unique as a drop of water which contains, in itself, the entire ocean. Each individual is indispensable. Each of us is unique, and beautiful, as intricate as a snow crystal. Yet, together, we are each part of the fabric that makes up our awesome universe.

Chiaramente ho letto questo libro in inglese, ma vorrei tanto fosse in italiano perche' qui abbiamo proprio bisogno di libri di questo genere. Painless mi ha aiutato tantissimo non solo con la mia gravidanza, il libro esplora antichi insegnamenti e concetti moderni di nascita natural, senza droghe, senza interventi medici. La preparazione e' sia informativa per quanto riguarda il parto naturale ed indolore (con l'uso della ipnosi) ma e' anche disegnata ad incoraggiare l'introspezione nei nuovi genitori, e ad illuminare le conseguenze positive e negative del essere durante la gestazione e parto. 

La gravidanza è una delle prove più impegnative nella vita di una donna, per la metamorfosi fisica e psicologica che questo evento porta con sè: le modificazioni sono così radicali da non poter essere paragonate a nessun altro periodo di passaggio della vita femminile, come l'adolescenza o la menopausa. Ciò che spesso sfugge, però, è che anche il bambino che deve nascere, "affronta" insieme alla madre questi cambiamenti. A tal proposito, lo studio dello sviluppo intrauterino sembra ormai diventato una necessità. Il bambino nel ventre materno è immerso in un bagno di stimolazioni, quelle provenienti dal battito cardiaco, dal flusso sanguigno, dal respiro, dai ritmi sonno-veglia, dalla stessa voce materna, ed è in grado di percepirle attraverso le vibrazioni del liquido amniotico. Egli entra in contatto, mediante i suoi organi di senso, con l'ambiente materno e quindi con gli stessi stati emotivi e psicologici sperimentati dalla madre. Oggi l'influenza che la mamma ha sul feto è un fatto comprovato. I pensieri e i sentimenti della mamma esercitano un effetto benefico o malefico sul bambino che tiene in grembo, e questa interazione sembra lasciare un'impronta sulla psiche del feto, condizionando per sempre il suo modo di essere e di reagire.

​Ogni persona che si avvicina all'evento deliziosamente descritto come 'dare alla luce ad un bimbo,' porta con se un preciso bagaglio socio-culturale, emotivo, e psicologico che colora non solo il parto ma anche la formazione in ventre della nuova vita. La gravidanza è un periodo magico, molto complesso e dinamico, in cui si scoprono nuovi sentimenti, si elaborano regole e abitudini nuove. 

Allo stesso tempo il bimbo che cresce nel ventre della mamma in questi nove mesi, si sviluppa fisicamente, intellettualmente ed emotivamente, a secondo del' informazione ricevuta dalla matrix (o madre) 

Shadman Habibi, Certified Nurse Midwife, Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center

Habibi has been taking care of expectant mothers since 2005

She has a master of science in nursing and a master of
arts in anthropology

What does a midwife do?
We care for pregnant women and their families using a midwifery model of care that views childbirth as a normal process. We perform routine prenatal care — we spend 15-30 minutes with patients during each of their visits, focusing on nutrition, exercise, birthing plans and childbirth education. When one of our clients is in labor, the midwife who is working in the hospital that day helps the woman and her family during labor and birth. The midwife supports and counsels the woman in her choices and helps her to have the kind of birth that she has always envisioned, while making sure mom and baby are healthy. We also share our midwifery model of care, our perspectives, and our expertise with obstetrical residents at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center.

Why would a woman choose to give birth with a midwife?
Women have heard that they have a better chance of a drug-free birth with the UCLA midwives. They want the support, education and advocacy we provide for shared decision-making. They come to us at the beginning of their pregnancy or transfer their care in the middle or the end of pregnancy. Usually they hear about us from friends, doulas or childbirth educators.

What are some pain-management techniques for women who don’t want medication?
There are many ways women manage their pain without medication. As part of their childbirth preparation classes, they may use breathing and relaxation techniques. There are many other options including walking, changing position, hydrotherapy (sitting or standing under the shower), swaying, aromatherapy, encouraging words, music, self-hypnosis and counter-pressure points in the hips and lower back. The UCLA obstetrician (OB) physicians group, the OB nursing director and nursing staff, and the OB residency program all support midwifery care. Because of that support, it’s easy for a woman to be walking around during her labor, it’s acceptable and routine for her to use the shower for hydrotherapy and pain management. This is what makes Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center labor and delivery care unique in Los Angeles. And it’s comforting for women to know we have the full range of medical technology and intervention available for them if they need it.

What do you enjoy about your job?
I like meeting families and learning about them and their beliefs and being present during one of the most exciting times of their lives. It’s very rewarding for me to sit and listen and then come together with a patient about a decision. There are many decision points a patient faces throughout her pregnancy and during childbirth itself — how she wants to manage her pain, whether she wants to induce labor, fetal monitoring, positioning, showering. We are there to support a woman during those intense times when she is thinking, “I can’t do this; this isn’t working, I can’t do it.” It’s very helpful for a woman to have someone by her side telling her she can do it, that she is doing it.

What is the most difficult part of the job?
The difficult part is being called at 2 a.m. after you just finished attending a birth at midnight. You need to have stamina and the ability to be present with each woman and her family. A lot of women come to midwives wanting to have the birth they have seen on YouTube where the woman is lying in a birthing tub and is pushing her baby out, seemingly, without any effort. But, that is not everyone’s birth story. Our bodies are different, each woman’s pelvis is different, and so our birth stories are going to be very different. I have seen women have easy childbirths and I have seen women suffer for days to achieve a natural childbirth. But the most common experience women have is a normal, beautiful birth with a healthy mom and baby.

What are your other interests or hobbies?
I am interested in international women’s health issues and women’s reproductive rights. I like to hike, read, travel and cook. I also take French classes.

 

di Gloria de Gast

Come mi trovi? Questa è la domanda che mi sono sentita fare per anni da due generazioni di femmine della mia famiglia... è un po’ di tempo che però a questa domanda, a cui per cortesia si risponde ‘bene, bene’, mi vien voglia di uscire con un bel ‘malissimo, vai a farti curare’, non perché sia vero, ma perché forse chiuderebbe il cerchio dei commenti/giudizi/falsa cortesia che onestamente non mi appartiene più. 


Non me ne voglia il mio lignaggio femminile, in inglese direbbero ‘nulla di personale’ anche perché NULLA E’ PERSONALE. Quindi la domanda non è COME MI TROVI, ma COME TI TROVI anche perché se tu ti trovi male con te stessa, io non posso trovarti bene, a meno che non sono concentrata su di me e allora non ho la più pallida idea di chi stiamo parlando? Ma è veramente necessario sapere cosa l’altro pensa di me? Direi proprio no, il suo pensiero non mi riguarda, è suo e parla di lui, non di me. Come direbbe una mia amica ‘sapevatelo’. Ultimamente sono invitata a partecipare a delle costellazioni familiari, qui nella mia cittadina a nord di Amsterdam e per diverse volte di seguito ho interpretato cose come EROS, la VITA, la FONTE ed è stato veramente catartico vedere come i drammi delle persone erano qualcosa di totalmente lontano da ciò che è veramente, la VITA vuole VIVERE, l’AMORE vuole AMARE e la FONTE vuole GENERARE, queste espressioni di energia divina sono contenute dentro di noi e quando finalmente ti volgi dentro per sentirle e viverle di quello che l’altro indossa non te ne può importare di meno, caso mai ti importa che VIVA la sua VITA e che fluisca sereno al tuo fianco, il resto sono fiocchettini, anche un po’ poco pratici, che aggiungono un po’ di zucchero o sale, ci vogliono? si, ma se sappiamo che sono fiocchettini e che son lì senza alcuna funzionalità. Questo fluire per  me è iniziato un anno fa, incontri magici, esperienze incredibili, mi hanno trasformata nel profondo ed una di queste è sicuramente Loving The Mother, ma, a dirla tutta, lo stare di fianco a donne come Robin Lim e Giuditta Tornetta, beniamine e madrine di questo meraviglioso format, ma soprattutto della mia rivoluzione e rotazione intorno al mio asse sistemico. La loro energia creativa è inebriante, così come la loro vitalità, bellezza, generosità, egocentrismo (nelle migliori delle accezioni possibili) e potrei andare avanti per ore, entrambe mi hanno mostrato qualcosa, e ti auguro di poterlo sperimentare (visto che saranno in Italia a settembre!), sia ben chiaro parlo di ME e parlo di quello che loro hanno MOSTRATO A ME attraverso i MIEI OCCHI, a te potrebbero mostrare altro, ma la bellezza di donne come queste è che sono talmente poliedriche che ce n’é per tutti!


Robin mi ha mostrato la bellezza di essere TERRESTRE pur comportandosi da ALIENA, diciamocelo è proprio un’EROINA dei nostri tempi, si dedica alle donne delle Filippine e dell’Indonesia senza soluzione di continuità, con un’energia altruista così meravigliosa che si fatica a credere sia di questo pianeta, appunto per me è un’Aliena, una meravigliosa e adorabile Aliena, eppure è capace di sedersi a tavola con te, guardarti, sorridere, accoglierti nelle sue braccia, con una semplicità e umiltà disarmanti. Giuditta, che dire di lei, una FORZA DELLA NATURA, una donna incredibilmente intelligente, piena di risorse, attiva, super informata, una doula eccezionale che lavora anche con i VIP, quelli di cui leggiamo tutti i giorni sui giornali, roba che se vivesse in Italia probabilmente non risponderebbe più a nessuno che non fosse blasonato, e invece no, le scrivi e lei ti risponde, come una madre, senza perdersi dietro le stupidaggini egoiche e pensando a come aiutarti. 


Questa NON vuole essere una lettera di incensamento, né a Robin né a Giuditta importa, questo testo vuole arrivare a parlare al tuo cuore e a dirti tutte le qualità che ho citato sono dentro di te, se inizi a vederle, se inizi a riconoscerle, se accetti il prezzo di tutto il pacchetto, è tutto lì per te. E puoi essere ricca e famosa, ma anche umile e altruista, puoi essere completamente piena di te e rimanere con i piedi per terra stando attenta a tutto ciò che ci sta intorno, anzi oserei spingermi un po’ oltre, se non ti riconosci il ‘diritto’ (Giuditta docet) di essere una meravigliosa aliena scesa sulla terra, con tutte le doti più pazzesche, allora faticherai ad essere altruista, umile e d’aiuto, perché quello che ti interesserà veramente è emergere, una volta che sei emersa, puoi occuparti di altro. Il lavoro continuerà sempre, non è infatti l’obiettivo quello di ‘arrivare’, l’obiettivo è di godere appieno di tutto il viaggio, l’obiettivo è quello di innamorarti di te, così veramente puoi amare l’altro, e l’amore di sé include tutto il pacchetto. Il coraggio dell’imperfezione e il coraggio di apprendere e cambiare e in tutto questo scegliere di amarsi profondamente…. 


Questo è stato il mio viaggio durante LTM in Grecia, ed ero insegnante, quindi super concentrata e anche un po’ in sbattimento (sai com’è ti lanci a fianco di due pezzi di femmine...) mi chiedo come sarebbe stato godere di tutto da partecipante.... Ti auguro di vivere momenti come questi perché personalmente ne sono dipendente e ora sono 132 giorni dal mio ultimo corso residenziale... meno male che a fine maggio ho il Self Care, altrimenti non so come avrei potuto aspettare fino alla Spagna… 

By Aspasia Ramos (uncorrected English translation)

You came like a storm inside of me and stayed there for nine months . 39 weeks and 3 days you have been swimming in my sea . You transformed every day of my life and made me feel needed. I had no choice if I want or not. I had to live so that you live.

You imposed on me the wisdom of simplicity . That's why I called you a wise baby.I didn’t know if you're female or male . I knew you are coming to bring everything upside down . To remind me the beauty of life . Your brother came on the New Year's Eve four years ago . My body and my soul suffered any intervention possible. We tried to get him to come out ... I gave birth to your brother through violence and disrespect . And I was afraid of becoming a mother again. Until you came...

And the hour of your birth was there . Love waves were coming all week long . I was walking sensing you coming down more and more . Saturday lunchtime. I put sheets in the pool . I made the pillows on the bed . Gazing across the almond tree . Last time as pregnant. I was trying to guess how you would like to reach. Saturday night came along. The waves of love became more intense . I was very happy that the great time was coming. Elda arrived at 18:00 . I quarrelled with Elda telling her that my body cannot give birth again . She told me to accept my nature and that my body can give birth very easily! Acrobating between humility and arrogance . I asked her to check the dilation. Dilation 3 and cervix hard . Heartbrokenness again .And the midwife left . It is too early yet ... Again I took the role of desperate .

Pain grew stronger . Remember . The captain of this ship is you. I ran to the bedroom and closed the door behind me . I asked everyone not to bother me and I laid down . I lit the blue light of Mother Mary .I asked forgiveness from anyone I have ever hurt . I concentrated to all people I remembered .I put my heart to drop anchor of love in the heart of every one . I liked this idea of Robin Lim. The midwife of my soul . Your angel is this midwife my little one. She told me to unite with my heart when words are meaningless. Asked my muscles and my body to get empty of any intensity and stress.I asked my body to cooperate.I brought in my mind all the women I helped in childbirth. I coordinated with them . And all the doulas and midwives who stood by me in pregnancy . I had no fear. I was sure I can manage. I put music . What a beautiful room that was ...Like a temple of birth ! I was running to fix the pillows on the gaps between contractions . I was running to fill the pool and back before the next wave of love . I walked in and immediately felt the tension growing. I remembered M.Oden saying not enter before dilation 6. How much is my dilation I wondered... I have as much as necessary for my body and my baby . I started analyzing the waves . There is NO pain . It IS only waves that lead me into my baby’s arms . At the same time the baby is attracted to me . - I loved the waves with all the strength of my soul . Do not be afraid ! Do not go against , go together ... I started breathing deeply . I attempted to bring equal my breath with the duration of each contraction.

The waves were getting higher and felt exhausted . I came out of the water and walked . It become unbearable pain . If I move it is much better. I took the shower and Dimitris threw warm water on my back . I'll turn it into joy . I started to make various sounds . Tried what suits me , what a relief . Step by step discovered my body . The only way in which my own unique body functions . I realized the symbolism of the labyrinth ... Ancient Greek mythology . How much beauty and how much wisdom contained ...

I reentered the pool. I felt increased intensity . I started to cry with spasms. Perched on the lap of Dimitri. He took the complaint . But why so much pain . Tears dripping in the water in the pool . It's so liberating.I felt braking bars in my heart .I experienced a beautiful moment of absolute pain ... Soon I will see my child , what a great happiness .

Of to go out of the pool .I wiped my body before the next contraction . Seeking a blouse quickly . An there comes a strong contraction . I flied on the pillows . Do not have time . We must concentrate on the wave . I did not rise properly in my board , my breathing was shorted that the contraction .A huge whirlpool got me down .I got in a vortex and crushed . The breath is my board . Endlessly ,I should breathe deeply and firmly regardless contraction. I need to be concentrated, fully immersed in a deep breath . Yes but the contraction is longer than any of my breaths. Quick inhalation and catch two maybe three lengthy exhalations . Yes I did it . The wave was tall. Stayed over it with three breaths ... thanks ~ ~ Francoise Freedman (perinatal yoga), Uma Dismore Tulli (mothers breath). - Do not forget it does not hurt . I am blessed to experience and love each wave . I remembered the hands in Giouditta’s book . I had an audible image in my mind . Two hands open my pelvis wide . The baby glides with ease in opening. It doesnt hurt - its only a pelvis stretching .I felt myself almost sensual .I yelled within me. Out of me I was totally silent . I Dig my head into the pillows until the next swell . I wanted to enjoy the lull . I thought I'd put more specific music . Some sounds felt tiring . Quickly popped on my mobile and I made a quick list . I did not want to play anything else. These seemed very loud waves . At the same time If felt tired . I very strongly wanted to sleep . I focused on the enchanting music of the flute . Resonated deeply into every note and felt to fly. I had lost the details of time/space around me . I do not remember where I flied , how long it lasted and what happened. But I remember the vastness of happiness inside me . Like somewhere in paradise . Then , a veil of oblivion dropped . Although I think it only lasted two minutes felt like eternity . Along came the next wave and my God what a joy ! I felt something unprecedented ! A break and a keen downloading . What great beauty of the unknown . This absolute silence absolute loneliness in the human miracle . I feel that I am a strong female . Confident and proud . I let nature flow through me . I am a primitive woman. In a modern devastating society . There was not one second of fear or concern.

I did all the breaths that spontaneously burst on my lips . Becoming flute and after a while a lioness . After a ssss like a snake and then mmm of pleasure .then I retrieved from my body . Leave them alone , baby and my body alone. To complete the process . Somewhere lost in the universe I heard the voice of Dimitri - It's Elda .

- Elntoula here Comes My Baby. I wanted to scream but I had no voice. I do not know if i was ever heard . An intense pressure starting to drift . I gave up completely. I can push it , but I do not want . As a missile thrown from inside of me without me pushing. Sometimes it came out loud and pulled inward. After a while like not progressing at all. Dont rush at the end. I came a bit dubious, wondering what to do . But I am sure I am to the exit of the labyrinth .

- WE WILL see each other soon . Then...I feel the pressure in the supreme.On the next contraction I felt my baby's head . A body slides out of me what happiness !

- Should I push ...?

No - no rush . Besides, Elda does not tell me to do so. I am probably to the right track

In the next wave of love the hands came out. One after the other. And then a tiny little body . Slipped through my body .Dropped on the mattress . Endorphins , oxytocin and all the hormones of love of dance around me. I wanted a little moment before I get my baby to cuddle . I fell on the pillows . It was like I was giving birth forever. Like I gave birth to myself . The vanity met humility and shattered . I got up immediately . I took the baby in my hands . I'm happy . Simply and strongly. I didn't know the sex. It is a boy again